It was a nail-biter, the battle for Clapham’s Most Famous Restaurant. But pushing The Sh*tty Fried Chicken Shop Near Infernos into second place is this supreme champ. Bring Mum here: the tasteful décor and simple-yet-fancy British fare (roast veal, pork jowl and scallop ravioli) will keep you from being struck from the will. For now!
Ultimate value item: The weekend three-course lunch menu, £35.
Hard to say a bad word against a guy who regularly shows up to gently stroke your poor, hungover head every Saturday, isn’t it? Your boy from the weekend cookery shows, Jun Tanaka, is killing it in the kitchen of this French/Med powerhouse, where everything from the pitta bread starter to the beef cheek main is just done so damn right.
Ultimate value: Sea bass carpaccio, salsa verde and pickled kohlrabi, £9.50.
After the Michelin Man left this Fulham restaurant swearing a bloody, merciless revenge on the next person to make that “I expected the fat bloke made from tyres!” gag, he concluded that at Kitchen W8, “Prices are quite restrained considering the quality of the produce and the kitchen’s skill.”
Ultimate value: Weekday set dinner menu at £28 for three courses between 6 and 7pm.
Not the sort of boozer you and the boys can get away with straight-arming pints of Foster’s, this. Not the sorta alcho-hovel that’ll be serving up your signature party punch, the MalibuSourzCheekyShandy6000. This one’s nice. Nice in a whipped chicken liver, roast deer sorta way.
Ultimate value: The two-course set-priced dinner menu, £35.50.
A dim sum spot taking its name from the sound a man makes as, the morning after five-a-side, he steps on those f*cking black pellets that get everywhere. The seemingly never-ending menu of buttery pillows, gently steaming and mattress-soft, takes the Man of the Match bubbly here.
Ultimate value: Classic sweet and sour pork, £12.60.
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