Prepare for fluffed aortas and fraying belt notches at Blues Kitchen Camden’s (NW1) Thanksgiving Bash. Listing what’s on offer is like reciting a rap sheet in a foreign language: you know it’s bad, but you don’t know why. Gumbo, sweet potato pie, candied yams, chestnut stuffing. There’s live music, too.
Excess level: Medium. A storm’s brewing, boy, but will it strike?
Less of a Momma’s authentic deep-fried lard vibe, which makes sense coming from Le Coq (N1), an Islington rotisserie restaurant. It is, using the parlance, “American-inspired”, which means the usual delicious fare, only slightly subtler (flame-roasted turkey with green bean casserole). It’s still about as subtle as a foghorn attached to a neon sign.
Excess level: Mild. Take one of your actor friends.
A sharing platter of impending doom and recrimination lurks at Riding House Cafe (W1). Look, you’ll get your glazed turkey, but this time it’s tag-teaming with truffled mac & cheese. And you’ll get your pumpkin too, only this time it’s BRÛLÉED. Which… is something.
Excess level: Top-tier. Waddle-inducing, sweat-provoking.
Texas Joe sounds like the sort of bloke who has his own face on the back of a denim jacket. Fantastic. In his meatshack (NW8) you’ve got all the regular foodie stuff to shove down until the tears start to form, but with one bonus: a complimentary “tasting” (come on!) of award-winning Garrison Brothers bourbon.
Excess level: Severe. You’ll be thinking Hounslow is Houston by the end of a night on the fire sauce.
America is a continent of jarring extremes and contradictions. But there are a few universals, including the sheer scale of what they consider a “portion”. Below the Boondocks (EC1) understands this. This is no Thanksgiving meal, this is a banquet. And it’s all for you. Marshmallow & wild mushroom stuffing… If not now, then when? Then when, friend?
Excess level: Marshmallow and wild mushroom stuffing. Marshmallow and wild mushroom stuffing. Marshmallow and wild mushroom stuffing.
Our two-step guide to absolutely dominating Pancake Day (Feb 28) begins with these five monsters
Pinpointing this weekend's best street food, pop-ups and openings
Including a special offer for Mr Hyde subscribers
Taking place the day after L'box in Victoria Park, it's a more sedate affair