Dirty Bones, doing its own thing. Laughing in the face of red-nosed, cracker-pulling Christmas conformity. Forsaking turkey and flying a bovine flag with an aged beef patty topped with spiced red cabbage (yes), kale holly (yes!), bread sauce mayonnaise (YES!), and soaked with Christmas gravy (SOMEBODY CALL A DOCTOR!) for £10.
Engage in the most “No Dan, you said you were in charge of booking the venue” of office party activities – last-minute bowling – before tearing into All Star Lanes’ majestic Christmas Dinner Burger. It’s a he-beast, with a sage and onion-encrusted turkey patty, sausage stuffing, cranberry sauce and a pig in blanket skewered to its top.
This one just didn’t fancy 2016. Saw the whole lot coming – Brexit, Trump, Nuttall. One look at the entrance and “Nah, you’re alright”. But, after stealing the show around Christmas 2015, BIRD‘s monster is showing its face again for December. Cranberry-glazed fried chicken, panko-crusted brie and bacon-wrapped jalapeno peppers.
Seen the condensed video of Danny Dyer’s Who Do You Think You Are? episode that’s doing the rounds? Proper hilarious. “Cake-O Bake-O”. So good. Masterful stuff. It’s probably the only thing more worthy of your eyes than this God-league buttermilk-fried turkey stacker from Mac & Wild, complete with brioche bun, stuffing, mincemeat, stilton and bread sauce.
Your boy Ben of Ben’s Canteen has come out swinging this year, flailing his arms around and knocking over dad’s bowling trophy. This blaring b*stard of a burger has a sage and shallot buttermilk turkey breast, a squashed stuffing ball, slow-roasted honey and mustard ham hock, buttered Brussels, garlic mayo, melted brie and cranberry sauce. Christ, Ben.
At the National Portrait Gallery's Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize