Lifestyle

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need

Totally necessary extravagance

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need

The All-In-One Hero

What is it? Beans go in, hot coffee comes out. Someone squeal a few Hail Marys, we got some serious witchcraft inside the world’s first portable all-in-one coffee maker (£64.99).

Why do I need it? Your office is filled with the sort of monsters who contaminate tea with coffee-stained spoons. This little treasure will cut your ties to these dribbling fleshbags for good. You’re your own man now. You’re free.

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need 1

The Sexy Filter Stand

What? It’s a wall-less filter stand (£35), bringing “unrestricted flow and consistent extraction” every time you pour water over ground caffeine goodness.

Why? You work hours and hours of unpaid overtime without so much as a whinge. You eat the bacon and egg sandwich even though you specifically asked for bacon and sausage because you’re a great guy. You deserve more than restricted flow and inconsistent extraction. You deserve more.

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need 2

The Turbo Grinder

What? Why, it’s only the German-designed grinder, the Krups GVX2 (£36). Bean up, buddy – this coffee’s about to get fresh.

Why? Like bleeding a radiator without referring to a YouTube video, going back to Y-fronts or taking a wine nap after Sunday lunch, switching on this and filling your kitchen with the smell of just-ground coffee is an action that taketh the boy and maketh the man.

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need 3

The Hyperchiller

What? Guess how long it takes this iced coffee maker (£29.99) to drop hot liquid by 130 degrees? Haha yeah good one mate! It’s a minute. One. One minute. Iced coffee greatness in 60 seconds.

Why? Life is fickle. One minute sandals and socks are for vicars on vacation. Next they’re for grime-spitting cool boys. Which is it? WHICH IS IT? Keep your coffee options unfussily switchable in this crazy, illogical world.

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need 4

The Super-Useful Apps

What? Spro (£1.49) and KoHi (£2.29), a duo of info-packed apps that’ll school you all the way up to the lifestyle of the bean-slinging pro barista.

Why? Spro is the guy who’s whispering into your ear, just as you’re about to cock up a cortado, “too much milk there Paul, you’re in cappuccino town now son”; and KoHi is your boy for finally telling you how to use an Aeropress without pebble-dashing the cupboards with your hot brown mess again.


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