Surrender to Viking vibes from now until the end of March, because Queen Of Hoxton (EC2) has absolutely aced its new theme: raging fire pits, horns to drink grog out of, a feasting hall inside a wigwam, and a freakin’ long boat for a bar. Goulash, hotpot, stew, and meatballs are on hand to fuel you up, too. Vikings. Vikings! Viiiikings!
From November 15, The Courthouse Hotel’s (W1) big terrace will be full of ski lanterns. Stacks of the things. Can’t move for damn ski lanterns. What are they? Couldn’t tell you, pal. No idea. But they’re not even in the top five reasons to visit. There’s enough Grey Goose to floor a Russian darts player, apres-ski vibes, and piping-hot sticky toffee pudding.
Hackney coolboy hangout Netil360 (E8) gets going again on Saturday. Amazing views here. Some say you can pick out the exact point people stop wearing knackered beanie hats. It’s been “winterproofed” but if things get a little frostbitey, grab the soul-toasting Caribbean greatness of Dub Plates Kitchen, with dishes like sorrel and chilli chicken wings and stout-braised goat ribs.
Imagine Stephen King’s novel Under The Dome, right, but replace the insane hallucinations, toxic firestorms, and bloody chaos with major food players Snaps & Rye, Le Bab, Patty & Bun and Gunpowder. Only then have you envisaged Pergola On The Roof (W12). They’ve dropped a massive dome over the legendary Television Centre, all heated and waterproof.
When “For god’s sake, it’s f*cking cutlery, just pick one” is moments from your lips at Selfridges, stop, breathe, and search for the special elevator that takes you to the summit. Rise above the crowds and find yourself in the soothing surrounds of Forest On The Roof’s (W1) alpine retreat. Pulse-slowing Cognac cocktails in neon-lit sheds await.
The skinny-jeaned corpse of 2007 indie is risen and dragging its battered Converse to a venue near you