London Zoo has launched Gir Lion Lodge, a quasi-safari for those who prefer their thrills mild, their seatbelts firmly fastened, and their Twitter bios full of disclaimers. It’s a collection of plush cabins that maintain a respectable distance from the lion enclosure. Guests get three tours of the zoo (sunset, torch lit and morning) plus dinner and breakfast.
“So what’s happened, right,” you begin, “is that some bloke’s realised Handel and Hendrix were neighbours. Two hundred years apart, sure, but that hasn’t stopped him. That’s fired him up, if anything. More of a challenge. Then he’s gone and restored both pads to their former glory. Then, Paul, he’s made it so you can explore both in the same trip. You hear that, Paul? Both in the same trip. Paul mate, we’ve gotta go.”
It’s 1943, you’re French, and you’ve been rejected from the army but still want to support your country. Typical. There’s only one thing for it: join the French Resistance as a spy. Who’s sniffing a tenuous set-up for one of London’s “immersive dining experiences“? Bingo! But this event delivers laughs, inventive acting, good food and better dancing.
You are fascinated by Scientology. Don’t deny it – we know you are. Peggy from Mad Men is a Scientologist. Wise Peggy from Mad Men! How bad can it be? Dip your toe in with a tour through L. Ron Hubbard’s old London gaff. Stroll the halls of Fitzroy House (after making an appointment) and soak up the founder’s vision. It’ll get your Thetans flowing. Hail Xenu!
Walking tours are usually for people who go on their own and intend to make friends, then stand waaaay back, fearful of being paired with that one obnoxious Aussie. Well, this Death and Debauchery Tour is actually for you, because you’re ignorant about the blood that’s stained the streets you stomp on. The tour glories in tales of horror, punctuated by stops in atmospheric boozers with nefarious histories.