Sport

Ridiculous sports that are actually great fun

Cricket? Not for madlads like us, mate!

RIDICULOUS SPORTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY GREAT FUN

Incredibly Difficult Tag

Tag, but with obstacles. Extreme obstacles. Invented by the maniacs at London’s Chainstore Parkour Academy, World Chase Tag comes in single, multiplayer and winner-stays-on flavours, all designed to have you vaulting and wall-dashing over boxes and rails at worrying speed.
Why it’s amazing: It’s that foot-chase from Casino Royale… but you’re Bond! Or the other guy who’s more coordinated.

RIDICULOUS SPORTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY GREAT FUN 1

Sit-Down Stick-Pulling

As featured in the World Eskimo Indian Olympics and practised in the Highlands (with a shepherd’s crook), Mas-wrestling couldn’t be simpler: two men hold onto one stick, wedge their feet against a board, and go all-out to yank each other off the floor and over the divider. It’s yet to to achieve the ubiquity of ping-pong or table football, but you can always buy your own set – or, let’s be honest, get the raw materials from Homebase for a fiver.
Why it’s amazing: More tactical than arm-wrestling, less HR-baiting than an actual fight, it’s the perfect way to assert office dominance: “Remoaner, am I, Jeremy? Let’s settle this… at the Mas board.

RIDICULOUS SPORTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY GREAT FUN 2

Three-Sided Football

Developed – of course – by Danish Situationists attempting to refine Marxian dialectics, three-sided football is the beautiful game but with three teams and a hexagonal pitch. The winner is the team that concedes the least goals, leading to an ever-shifting series of alliances, betrayals and long-term grudge-holding.
Why it’s amazing: It’s a boot-based, real-time Risk: on-the-hoof negotiation is key, and the fluctuating allegiances means even terrible teams can’t get too badly hammered.

RIDICULOUS SPORTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY GREAT FUN 3

Real-Life Sabre-Rattling

Kendo? Too formal. Fencing? Too two-dimensional. Search your feelings: you know what you actually want is to grab yourself a custom-built GCS Vector, gear up like a hockey goalie, and go full-blown Vader on another human. The Saber Legion insist on you learning the two-handed Shii Cho before anything else, but then there’s curved weapons, cross-guard variations, dual-wielding… such depth, Hugo, yah?
Why it’s amazing: With only the neck, groin and hilt-punching really off-limits, it’s possibly the most realistic version of sword-fighting you can do. Plus, the sabres actually make the pssshhhew sound, so you don’t have to

RIDICULOUS SPORTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY GREAT FUN 4

HIIT With Mexican Wrestlers

Okay: wrestling is not actually a sport. But Lucha Libre, the Mexican version, demands much more conditioning, agility and gymnastic ability than its American counterpart. Even if a springboard lionsault seems out of the question, London-based Lucha Britannia’s three-hour fitness class has to be more fun than underwater spinning, or whatever else sales are doing to get in shape for #Marbs2017. Doesn’t it?
Why it’s amazing: It’s a confidence booster as well as a workout: if you’re prepared to deliver a monologue as Don Sombrero (or whatever), that second interview’s bound to be easier.


Subscribe to the Mr Hyde daily email for free here


Related

×