You and your meat-loving date, red-faced and praying for death’s sweet release, going full Revenant as you drag your sorry brisket-laden gut out of Red’s True BBQ and up Great Eastern Street. Beaten. Battered. But your watch, a rugged and hardcore G-Shock GA-1100 (£285), is still ticking. Almost like it hadn’t just been put through sticky BBQ sauce hell. Almost like it could forgive you for what you’d done.
Our two-step guide to absolutely dominating Pancake Day (Feb 28) begins with these five monsters
Pinpointing this weekend's best street food, pop-ups and openings
Including a special offer for Mr Hyde subscribers
Taking place the day after L'box in Victoria Park, it's a more sedate affair