Imagine not wanting to see this. Imagine sitting at home, seeing that The Barbican has a live orchestra performing classic Hans Zimmer and John Williams scores on December 29, and shrugging it off to return to the mince pies. No pang of boyish excitement as you imagine hearing the lip-biting Jurassic Park build-up, or the heroic Indiana Jones tune. No nothing. You’d have to add one more name to the 2016 Death List – your cold dead soul.
Sure, it’s bizarrely Rain Man-specific, but a 1977 New York-inspired pop-up sounds like the perfect place to remove all memory of your sopping wet’n’beige Xmas dinner plate. Plucky’s chicken and halloumi nuggets; Burger Bear’s meat stacks; ‘za from Grandmaster Slice and boss-level mac’n’cheese from Mac To The Future are all waiting at Big Apple Brixton. A few guaranteed entry tickets are still up for grabs for December 30.
All your pent-up, “no giggling at Aunt Margie’s botched nosejob” frustration from the festive family get-together, banished in one glorious zombie beating. Alright, so you’re not supposed to batter the drama student in make-up at the centre of Trapped‘s escape room to death, but rather use your head to find a key outta there before he gets his icy fingers around your innards. Get yourself in there, with up to 11 mates, between December 28-30.
Claw back some kudos after all your “nah nah it’s ironic honestly” Xmas sweater wearing by loosening your belt even further at a spanking-new uber-hip Scandinavian bakery. Copenhagen’s coolest bakerboys Ole & Steen have landed, serving all-day Scandi soups, stews, far-too-fancy-but-by-god-we’ll-eat-them sandwiches and killer coffee to go with heaven-sent pastries. Find it at St James’s Market, SW1.
Throw some coal onto the furnace that’s keeping your festive booze train a-rocketing down the tracks with a little pit stop at Sipsmith’s Winter Lounge – a cosy hideaway lounge full of ginny gin gin gin ginroo. They’ve got some spesh Mother’s Ruin-based winter warmers and an open fire to toast you at King’s Cross pub The Fellow, all the way up to December 31.
The skinny-jeaned corpse of 2007 indie is risen and dragging its battered Converse to a venue near you