What are you escaping from? Time. And a bunch of evils patrolling the past and future who’ll do anything to stop you leaping back and forward through time to find a dangerous artefact with the power to make a massive bad thing happen.
How difficult does it sound? On the grand scale of time-travelling touch points, this 60-minute toughy sits somewhere between grappling with Einstein’s Theory of Relativity (hard!) and sitting through Ashton Kutcher’s The Butterfly Effect (impossible!).
What are you escaping from? The cinema! You’ve trotted down to the flickhouse to catch the premiere of a gruesome movie called The Killer, only to discover you’re the only one there. And that’s not even the scariest part, pal. Just you wait for the gory plot to unfold… in real life!
How difficult does it sound? On a par with escaping the concerned looks of the popcorn guy, who’s caught onto your “buy two Pepsis so he thinks I’m not here alone… again” ploy
What are you escaping from? The Chokey. The Slammer. Uncle Monty’s Frown Factory. (Prison.) For what we assume is recompense for your “you’ll never catch me” attitude to the Student Loan Repayments Police, you’ve been chucked in a cell and have to bust yo’ ass out with the help of your fellow jail-buds.
How difficult does it sound? Hardest part, no doubt, will be resisting the urge to strangle the peckerhead who enters every brain-teaser with the words “Guys, listen up, if I know season one of Prison Break, and trust me, I really do…”
What are you escaping from? A female changing room inside a shopping centre. How you’ve managed to do it again, we’ll never know. But this time there’s a hostage situation thrown into the mix, and you’re the badass the captives have been praying for. G’wan, son! Get ‘em out alive!
How difficult does it sound? A head-scratcher, sure, but the promise of a £10 burger-booze deal in The Grove, the Battersea pub right above the venue, is all the inspiration any hero needs.
What are you escaping from? Nazis have imprisoned you in a POW camp. Grrrr fist shake! Armed with the journal of a successful escapee, you must gather enough intel and sneak around all the cool wartime paraphernalia to break outta there.
How difficult does it sound? Hard to deal with the realisation that you, a man of 2016, are infinitely inferior to your grandpappy’s generation, who dealt with s*it like this with iron-chested bravery, not shock-face emojis on WhatsApp.
An international festival of light
Dinner in a decommissioned 1967 underground carriage
Half-price brunch and a HUGE fried chicken burger