The gig: Iggy Pop at the Royal Albert Hall, May 2016
How to convince people you were actually at the concert: Nod your head slowly and sincerely and then, after a pause and a wistful stare into the middle distance, say: "Oh yeah man, absolutely. You could really tell he was doing it for Prince and Bowie up there."
The gig: Tame Impala at Alexandra Palace, February 2016
How to convince people you were there: Prove all that free-spirited psych-rock really changed you. "And it was at that point, Giles," you'll begin, "I realised how appallingly I'd behaved by using non-ethical beans in the French press."
The gig: Yasiin Bey at Indigo O2, July 2015
How to convince people you were there: Be sure to point out that, for one night only, Bey exclusively performed J Dilla songs. "Two of hip-hop's icons coming together in one place? You can bet I skipped the residents' association meeting that night!"
The gig: John Grant at the Royal Albert Hall, June 2016
How to convince people you were there: Drown whoever will listen in utterly pointless detail about how it took place just a few days before Brexit, Iceland, and Theresa... but we didn't know that at the time. Then, with their interest fatally low, add "oh, and he brought Kylie out for a duet."
The gig: Mission Of Burma at Birthdays, December 2012
How to convince people you were there: Take to Facebook and repost a uni picture where you're hugging strangers in a club. Caption: "Wow boys, remember that mad night watching Mission? Another classic. Surprised we made it through. To my brothers!" Tag nobody.
Sign up to Mr Hyde Fitness
Get ready for a weekly fitness email you’ll actually enjoy reading