Fitness Articles

Even more mad sounding fitness classes that actually work

Part one was cray...but this is cray cray


Yoga + Beer

Mercifully, this isn’t the try-hard Burning Man import that’s taken off in Germany and Australia, where glugs of foul lukewarm potion act as punctuation between asanas. You know, the whack-job theory that holds when you exercise, drinking inhibits your body’s energy systems as your liver prioritises getting rid of the booze. Instead, it’s a collaboration with the London Fields Brewery where you crack open an Easy IPA after the class. Consider it an alternative to bottomless brunch, not an excuse to skip the gym.

More info here

Calm-by Candlelight

Candles? Relaxation? Blankets? Sure, this ultra-gentle stretching session sounds like it's one semi-encouraging piece of eye contact away from breaking into a spontaneous drum circle at any moment, but if your typical Tuesday involves hammering your circadian rhythms with a two-hour binge on Star Wars Battlefront, a lovely bit of darkness and quiet might be just the thing. Also, with five minutes or so for each pose, you might finally sort out your cheese-wire hamstrings. Or not.

More info here

Methodology X

Designed by and named after the least popular member of Public Enemy, this… aha, no we'll stop before your sides rip. It’s actually the brain-baby of A-list trainer Dan Roberts, who’s drawn on experience in yoga, pilates, ballet, martial arts and athletic training to create a workout that’s as popular with supermodels as it is useful to the gent in need of something more strenuous than foosball to get him through the week. Always wanted to put "lithe" on your LinkedIn profile? Well want no further!

More info here

Spare Tyre

This one’s doubly as meaningful, you see, because it plays on the idea of losing your "spare tyre", which is a quirky assignation for the billowing fat on your sides and …yes! A car tyre! Just like the ones you see abandoned by the dozen along the canal. Once you've bounced back from reeling at the nuance, understand that this class teaches you the essentials of training – mountain climbers, high pulls, and so on – done with a reasonably priced bit of kit you’ll feasibly be able to source when you finally ditch the W1 flat-hunting game and head for Zone 6. Brains AND brawn?! Huzzah!

More info here

Best Butt Ever

Let’s be honest, this class wasn’t designed for you, a discerning punter who’s rejected the patriarchy’s obsession with trite, 2D notions of what comprises a perfect figure. But it is exactly what you need to wake up your perpetually dozy glutes, via a smart combination of resistance band moves and box jumps – and the accompanying soundtrack of Destiny’s Child and Ludacris is just self-aware enough to work. Cozy irony... fitness... glutes? Do not pinch thine arm, this is not a dream.

More info here