1. Start by fueling up
The Westminster Kitchen: a fancy interior – but not so posh they’ll kick you out for wearing cycle gear – and a classic British menu. Try the Westminster Trio Benedict for a blast of flavours (chillies and Hollandaise sauce – it’s a thing) or stick to Grandad-approved kippers and parsley butter. Right, fuelled up, get back on your bike.
2. Stroll through a secret garden
Breakfast feels a while ago now. Time for a breather. And this stop will feed you Instagram likes for daaaays. St-Dunstan took a kicking to get to its hauntingly beautiful state: damaged in the Great Fire of London, then bombed in the Blitz.
3. Ride through the riverside
You’ve battled through some busy roads, maybe considered stopping off at that second, third, fifth Pret for a breather. But you persevered and now you’re at the next of our “I can’t believe this is in London” areas. Meandering paths flank Regent’s Canal, providing you with a picturesque ride you can take at your own pace.
4. Dine in a unique pub
That’s quite enough fresh air for now. Time to hit up a pub for lunch. The Lord’s Tavern is an odd mix of Italian bistro and traditional British pub – but it works. Bow-tie clad waiters will serve you up a mean Scotch egg as you chug down your pint of real ale. You’ll be confused, but comfortable. What more can anyone ask for.
5. Explore Beatles history
Abbey Road Studio. You might have heard of it. Yes, there will be people standing in the middle of the crossing. Yes, you might end up taking an old Japanese couple’s photo outside the studio. But that’s what you get when you’re biking past history. Pop into the gift shop for all the Ringo mugs you could want. Then bike on.
6. Chat to a duck
After nearly mowing down a Beatlemaniac, you’ll need a moment to catch your breath. Off to Hyde Park. Big ol’ place, so better grab a refresher from the Lido bar before you have a wander through it. Feed the ducks, watch the trees, eat the grass, look at the fountains and just generally embrace the whole nature thing.
7. Grab a killer panini
Nestled in a deceptively spacious canal boat in Little Venice, the Waterside Café is about as whimsical as you can get without becoming sickening. A unique interior, the best ham and cheese panini you can get on a boat, and ridiculously cheerful staff to re-energise you.
8. Cycle through nature
Battersea Park is packed with stuff, utterly packed. Hard to find a spot that’s got a zoo, gallery, running track, football field, and a Buddhist peace pagoda all in the same place. Have a mooch through all, or just pass out on the first bench you can find.
9. Celebrate getting through it
Right. It’s over. It’s bloody over. Maybe enjoy a proper reward at The Black Dog with something sinful: pale ales, fish and chips, bangers and mash. And then… a shambling walk to the station.