The Shellfish Stunner
Sinking your gums into the luxuriously decadent flesh of the big snappy bastard. What better way to soothe that morning’s pain of being strong-armed into buying an Organic Soap Making Workshop for two as a Valentine’s gift? Stir the embers of your soul by inhaling seafood-roll royalty Smack’s velvety and meaty-as-hell Lobster Chowder – yours for a mere fiver a pop.
The Noodle Lord
Quick, change all your passwords! Lock your doors! Because your life… it’s about to get “hacked”, baby! Here’s the play: hit Bone Daddies on a Sunday night, when your booze-ravaged body is desperate for some salty salvation, and the omnipresent midweek queue out the door has melted away to nothing. Then, pop on your best dinnertime Speedos and swan dive into the deep spicy noodle pool that is Bone Daddies’ seasonal spesh: the pork chilli ramen.
The Restorative Superstar
The Jewish Penicillin, this one’s known as. Real medicinal goodness inside a matzo soup, with chicken fat being the secret remedy in those gut-cuddling matzo balls. Check in with the good doctors at Monty’s Deli and heal whatever ails you with a fat dose of their own version, which comes at a flatliningly cheap four quid. …AAAND THAT’S YOUR LOT FOR BAD MEDICAL PUNS ABOUT SOUP.
The Veggie Winner
Since “Veganuary” has joined “Russia’s US election trickery” and “Cillian Murphy’s jawline in Peaky Blinders” to complete the holy trinity of dinner party conversation topics, you’d better pull your finger out and get to grips with The Veggie Way. Your starting blocks? The doorway to Mildred’s, a flesh-free trailblazer with a chilli’n’lime-adorned coconut and mushroom broth that’s simply destined to be mainlined into your mush.
The British Hero
A bunch of unsightly, unsexy root vegetables released from their miserable lives at the bottom of your hand-me-down blender. That, friends, is typical soup. Only it’s not, because yours are a world away from the godly liquid lunches at this posh-as-you-like Mayfair deli, where the ever-changing homegrown classic old boys – like leek, potato with bacon crumbs and cheese croutons – put your pulsing skills to shame. To shaaaame.