Drink Articles

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need

Totally necessary extravagance

The All-In-One Hero

What is it? Beans go in, hot coffee comes out. Someone squeal a few Hail Marys, we got some serious witchcraft inside the world’s first portable all-in-one coffee maker (£64.99).

Why do I need it? Your office is filled with the sort of monsters who contaminate tea with coffee-stained spoons. This little treasure will cut your ties to these dribbling fleshbags for good. You’re your own man now. You’re free.

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need

The Sexy Filter Stand

What? It’s a wall-less filter stand (£35), bringing “unrestricted flow and consistent extraction” every time you pour water over ground caffeine goodness.

Why? You work hours and hours of unpaid overtime without so much as a whinge. You eat the bacon and egg sandwich even though you specifically asked for bacon and sausage because you’re a great guy. You deserve more than restricted flow and inconsistent extraction. You deserve more.

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need 1

The Turbo Grinder

What? Why, it’s only the German-designed grinder, the Krups GVX2 (£36). Bean up, buddy – this coffee’s about to get fresh.

Why? Like bleeding a radiator without referring to a YouTube video, going back to Y-fronts or taking a wine nap after Sunday lunch, switching on this and filling your kitchen with the smell of just-ground coffee is an action that taketh the boy and maketh the man.

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need 2

The Hyperchiller

What? Guess how long it takes this iced coffee maker (£29.99) to drop hot liquid by 130 degrees? Haha yeah good one mate! It’s a minute. One. One minute. Iced coffee greatness in 60 seconds.

Why? Life is fickle. One minute sandals and socks are for vicars on vacation. Next they’re for grime-spitting cool boys. Which is it? WHICH IS IT? Keep your coffee options unfussily switchable in this crazy, illogical world.

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need 3

The Super-Useful Apps

What? Spro (£1.49) and KoHi (£2.29), a duo of info-packed apps that’ll school you all the way up to the lifestyle of the bean-slinging pro barista.

Why? Spro is the guy who’s whispering into your ear, just as you’re about to cock up a cortado, “too much milk there Paul, you’re in cappuccino town now son”; and KoHi is your boy for finally telling you how to use an Aeropress without pebble-dashing the cupboards with your hot brown mess again.

Coffee gizmos you should convince yourself you need 4

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