The Max-Strength Moisturiser
Why you need this: Here’s our big tip for winter 2017: rather than trying to channel Samuel Beckett, accept the fact that you need a decent moisturiser. The craggy and cracked look might impress the boys down the bookshop basement, but out in the real world, things are a bit less kind.
Why this one in particular: Lacking the grease-factor that makes some moisturisers about as appealing as lathering up with ghee, we recommend you think of Clinique’s boldly named Maximum Hydrator as a thin shield for your crumbled visage. Now, stop waiting for Godot and get on with slathering yourself in the stuff.
Why you need this: After another hard day at the coal face – an impeccably tasteful graphic design studio in Clerkenwell – followed by a succession of Lebansese small plates with an old pal from uni who’s about to open a bike repair shop in Lisbon, you’re an oily, shiny state.
Why this one in particular: Your best bet to avoid looking like you’ve melted ever-so slightly over the next few months is to invest in a decent face wash and incorporate it into your pre-bed routine. Three hours of needless emails, two hours of the Netflix menu, and five minutes with this bottle of Californian sunshine.
The Seriously Luxurious Anti-Dandruff Device
Why you need this: The date’s going well. Really well. That scurrilous anecdote about [REDACTED] really landed. Your William Hague impression? Whoosh! You’re flying. Then you see an eye alight on your shoulder. You lower your gaze. Oh, bugger. Dandruff. So. Much. Dandruff.
Why this one in particular: The solution? Start spending more than two quid on shampoo. After all, what’s the point in matching a £50 haircut to some bottom-shelf grot? This vivacious little Aesop number should do the trick. Want a gently yet effectively cleansed scalp? Of course you do. Want said scalp to smell like a concoction of camomile, fennel, and sage? You’re only human!
The Brilliant Beard Balm
Why you need this: Honestly, mate, you’ve got every reason to be proud of your beard, and all of us are delighted to see you finally put your heart and soul into something after years of aimless drift and aborted dreams, but right now you look a little, well, Mark “E” Everett. Sorry. You’re also scratching yourself. A lot. Too much? Not for us to say.
Why this one in particular: Percy’s probably the invention of a shady conglomerate of facial-hair-fetishists but when he makes a winter-ready beard balm as regenerative and softening as this, who cares?
The Pucker-Up Lip Balm
Why you need this: An objectively correct list of the worst things about winter: a cold, wet football thwacking you in the balls; the pervasive darkness that clings to everything and everyone; cracked lips.
Why this one in particular: OK, OK, lip balms will always remind you of that Year Three supply teacher who doled out Polos and always smelled like lavender, but sometimes you have to confront the psychosexual leftovers of childhood and smear them all over your own face. Start with this exceptional offering from Kiehl’s. It’s cheaper –and tastier – than seeing a therapist.