The Winter-Beating Sneaker Boots
New Balance, Fresh Foam Paradox (£120)
You’re absolutely right to want to either run for your life or begin flailing your claws and hissing in their direction. Like a couple of Darth Vader helmets for your toes, these things. Or should we say… these beasts. New Balance takes a break from peddling big dad trainers in favour of big bad trainers, with a set of super durable suede and ballistic – ballistic! – nylon loafs that make the military-grade shin-kickers the Army use look like little-girl jelly shoes.
The Retro Trail Runners
Nike, ACG Dog Mountain (£85)
Got a lot going for them, these mountain rompers from the mind of revered shoelord Tinker Hatfield. They’re dripping with Nineties hiking goodness, come in playful, eye-catching colourways inspired by the spring flowers of Oregon and are made with a holy trinity of durability: suede leather, mesh and nylon. So much going for them, in fact, that we can all join together in forgetting that “Dog Mountain” sounds like an A-Level Film Studies project.
The Rock-Steady Skate Shoes
Vans, Sk8-Hi 46 MTE (£95)
There was once a time when Vans only served to protect your soles from the damage of countless kickflip-to-arseslam manoeuvres. Now it’s looking to save you from a force even more destructive than your shonky skateboarding skills: MEAN MAMA NATURE. As part of the hardy All-Weather MTE collection, these Sk8-Hi sneaks throw down the gauntlet to the elements with Scotchgard-treated uppers, snug liners and a thermal retention layer to keep the cold out out OUT, god dammit!
The Heritage Hi-Tops, Reworked
Universal Works, X P.F. Flyers Centre Hi (£79)
Aaah yes, Universal Works. Your old pal. The one that makes those functional garms that just fit, y’know, like that workwear jacket that you’ll have to be surgically removed from when the time comes. It’s applied its good, honest, British menswear ethos to this iconic hi-top from P.F. Flyers – one of the OG sneaker brands from the States – and spun up this new iteration, complete with a big fat mud-thumping rubber sole. Britain and America together, making sweet music just like the good ol’ days.
The Footwear From The Future
Clarks, Trigenic Dry GORE-TEX (£180)
Mr Hyde, how do you plead to the charge of harping on and on about Clarks’ Trigenics, since the day their Ridley Scott-ish design rumbled the foundations of your favourite Velcro-school-shoe brand? Guilty! And because now these Trigenics are not only futureproof, with their three-part sci-fi sole, but also deathproof, with their GORE-TEX Performance membrane, we’ll never stop singing their praises. Freeee-dooooom!