The Pillow From The Future
ZEEQ Smart Pillow (£199) Forget craft beer and fidget spinners, sleep is the status symbol du jour. But how are you going to get eight hours while resting your head on the same pillow you had when you left uni? A real one plays music till it knows you've dropped off, gently moves your head when it hears you start snoring, and wakes you up at a natural point in your sleep cycle.
The Chaos Reducer
NVIDIA Shield TV (£189.99) Linking your phone to your tablet, to your TV, to your laptop, to your console, to your speakers and finally to your media-addled mind requires so many cables crisscrossing your room that it starts looking like a dystopian KerPlunk. The Shield wirelessly pulls all your devices into a single hub that can cast any of them to your TV or stream at Ultra HD 4K quality. To top it off it's got Google voice search in its remote as well, leaving your floor cleared for all the mess from your '"ironic" Deliveroo habit.
The Magical Mood-Setter
Philips HUE Starter Pack (£59.95) When it comes time to hit the lights in your boudoir, that weird Ikea lampshade-cum-amoeba corpse hanging from your bedroom ceiling isn't going to cut it anymore. Stick some of these bulbs up and co-ordinate them all from your phone to create whatever mood you need. The shine from that bedside lamp just a little too revealing? Try another one of the 16 million colours each of these babies can do. One of them's gotto work with that mug of yours, tiger!
The Touch of Nature
SPROUT Subscription Box (from £35) A little bit of greenery might just soften the consumer-tech-showroom angle you've been going for (and that is what you've been going for). A new pre-potted plant dropped off at your door every month means there's no need to risk bumping into your dad at Homebase, or even think about keeping it alive: just like bills, or random bursts of crippling misery, there'll be another one along in a month.
The Unheralded Hero
VicTsing 300ml essential oil diffuser (£25.99) OK, so all due respect for at least trying to Febreze the ol' cave, but why not make like late-stage capitalism and outsource responsibilities to one of these. It's a humidifier on top of a Good-Smelling Thing, so bid fond farewell to your "enchanting musk"' and say "Where have you been all my life?" to air that WON'T scare people.
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