Tooting Bec Lido
“Yo, off for a length!” you shout, only to return to your towel two days later, with six litres of water in your lungs, having underestimated this 90-metre monster. Biggest one in England, mate! It’s huge! Toast your brush with death in the relaxing Wheatsheaf pub, before fuelling yourself back to full strength with Chicken Shop’s top-drawer rotisserie.
The café at this Olympic-sized lido is a thumbs-up-from-Hyde outpost. Bit family, though. Bit nice. Not right for an absolute madlad like you! Instead, focus your post-pool crosshairs on street-food bonanza Pop Brixton and its giant screen showing Olympic events. It’s a 15-min walk, so get some booze energy in you at The Florence (right outside the lido) before setting off.
King's Cross Pond
Gotta love a quick dip in an eco-friendly art instalment, right guys? Oh, you heard: this one’s a piece of art. Splashy art that blocks your ear canal. When you’re all arted out, dry yourself off and drink something stronger than art water at Granary Square’s The Lighterman, then get your art-pruned fingers around Spanish tapas at nearby Camino.
London Fields Lido
No emasculating toe-dipping here: we got a warm one, lads! London’s only 50-metre heated outdoor public pool is dead inviting during the summer, and totally 'Grammable during the frozen months, with all that eerie steam rising like a scene from a trashy slasher flick. No shortage of good eats and drinks in these parts either, but the street boozing at The Cat & Mutton and set-menu plates at Pidgin get our vote.
Parliament Hill Lido
Let the pond-dwelling frog dodgers of Hampstead’s bathing pools have their "fun", and jump into this 1930s Art Deco treat at the southern end of the Heath instead. Our top tip? Get there on a Tuesday with a mate, and then stroll to The Stag at Belsize Park for the special 50% off food discount. It fills out quick, so opt for recently spit-polished The White Horse and their Lebanese menu if it’s all too hectic.
The five stages of a drunken tube journey
Come with us now, on that hazy, subterranean Fantasia-like journey taken after every long evening spent in the pub
Win a overnight stay in London with The Big Sick
Plus tickets to a London Comedy Club and a three-course dinner
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