She's watching you. They all are. Staring at your quivering hands, your sweat-soaked brow, the knife flickering like a polygraph machine, spelling out "LIAR! You can't cook at all! Everyone's gonna die!" To ensure your dinner parties end with doggy bags and not body bags, MEAT London's laid on this course to show you how to debone, prepare and cook rump, sirloin and the gang.
"Hello, son. Thought I'd pop over and see if any odd jobs need doing?" "Nah – I think I'm OK, actually." "Right. Your mother's making me sleep in the loft now, you know." "Just kidding! There's loads! Let's change the subject!" But for less awkward times, learn how to fix that leaky tap yourself, or put up your own 50in telly.
You've managed to wangle a "drop on by!" for a house party. But when you get there, someone's already in charge of coats, someone's moping next to the Doritos – what are you going to do? You're on music duty, Mix Master! Time to show off the cueing, EQ-ing and filtering skills that you picked up from London Amp, or hell, just stick on the mix CD you made there instead.
How To Have Better Conversations
Many work drinks leave us gagging for someone to appear with a conversation menu to thaw the frostiness we're getting from Him On The Left. This is a better solution. It ignores catch-all discussion topics for an examination of the psychology and philosophy of conversation itself, to make you listen better and make any chat one for the scrapbook. There may be life yet in your analogy about the sales team and peak Tony Yeboah.
Travel Writing Workshop
Legend says that in London you're never more than five feet from a wannabe screenwriter. The solution? Go somewhere else and write there instead! In an age of TripAdvisor there's more of a market for your blog about Berlin hostel breakfasts than ever before, but this workshop'll arm you with the skills to go one further and start getting published too.
The five most eye-wateringly beautiful Pret-a-Mangers in Zone One
There are 850 branches of Pret A Manger in central London. Each is exquisite. But as with diamonds, some will always glint more pleasingly than others...
Things restaurants absolutely need to stop doing this year
There are restaurant foibles that we wouldn't mind throwing headfirst out of the window
Welcome... to DumplingQuest!
Who actually sells the best dumplings in China Town? We went there and ate a billion of the things to find out
Crossing the streams
Being able to access all the music ever recorded in the world at all times is a basic human right. But which streaming service should you be chucking your money
The five wittiest diss tracks in rap history
With the tepid Drake/Meek Mill war showing no signs of letting up, it's good to remember that not all hip hop feuds have to be so dunderheaded